1. Pleasing others is a principle which may be directly opposed to the basic rule of the Christian’s life: to please God. God’s will for you may be at variance with other’s claims, demands, and whims. God’s will for Jesus, for example, was contrary to the demands of the multitudes who wanted to make Him king after He fed 5,000 people with the little boy’s meager lunch (John 6). The disciples objected strenuously to the will of God for Jesus when He foretold His coming crucifixion and death, also. Peter was upset at the news. “May it never be!” he said. Jesus answered, “Get thee behind me, Satan.”
2. Frequently, God’s will for you will require that you consider your own needs first and set aside the wishes of others. There were times when Jesus put His own needs for rest and food ahead of ministering to others. If you try to neglect yourself and your own needs (unless you are under direct instructions from the LORD), you will court spiritual and psychological troublers. Being cruel to yourself is not necessarily holy. Jesus did your penance for you on the cross. You’re free now to live in love, receiving as well as giving.
3. In making judgments about what you should do, it is too simplistic to base priority on the rule: Whatever pleases others must be right. True, the critical needs of another human being will very likely often be given precedence over your own plans and less critical needs, and at times even over your own critical needs. If you encounter a dying man at your doorstep when you are on the way to a prayer meeting, you would probably give up the prayer meeting to help the man. But notice, the question to the answer is not: Is someone else expecting it of me? but rather, Is God directing me to do it?
4. If you live to please others, any negative feedback, criticism, or displeasure will tend to ruin you. It will disturb you terribly to think that others are not perfectly happy with you. You must learn to take criticism and handle it as a “very small thing,” to quote Saint Paul who knew it was the LORD who was the true judge.
5. Even if everyone disliked you and disapproved of you, you could still survive. Jesus did. Many others have managed to live through large amounts of disapproval by others. If you are willing to take God at His Word, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” there is no reason to believe that you will collapse or disintegrate when others disapprove of you. Of course, the displeasure of others is often unpleasant for us to tolerate, and it may be very difficult to endure, especially when those who are important to us do not approve of us. Nevertheless, if we have to we can stand it. And most of the time disapproval by others is short-lived and restricted. It is very unlikely hat we will counter a circumstance where absolutely everyone will dislike or and disapprove of us. Most of our social custom teaches us to manipulate for acceptance or approval.
Conclusion:
If you invite the Joneses to dinner, they’ll invite you in return. If you help the Joneses paint their house, they may help paint yours. Godly motives are higher. They say, “I care about you and I want you to care about me. I will not demand or insist you care about me, however, and I will not strive to earn your approval, affection, or friendship. I care about you and I also care about me because Jesus died for each of us. Godly motives say, “You are important and so am I, Jesus loves us – and He loves us equally.” You can be released forever from the grip of self-hate when you freely and fully know the approval of God is far more precious than the approval of people.
It is not necessary to be liked by everyone.
I do not have to earn anyone’s approval or acceptance.
I am a child of God.
I am extremely blessed, deeply loved and highly favored by Him
I have been forgiven of all of my past, present, and future sins by Him.
I am acceptable and I accept myself.
My needs and wants are as important as other people’s.
I can conquer my bad feelings by distinguishing the truth from mis-belief.
It is a mis-belief that I must please others and be approved of by them.
Jesus died on the cross for me so that I can be free from the mis-belief that other people decide my value.
Not being approved of or accepted is not terrible.
If somebody doesn’t like me, I can live with it.
I don’t have to work feverishly to get him/her to like me. Rejection is not terrible. It may be unpleasant for a moment, in fact, 1 Peter 4:14 says, “If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: On their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.” Just think about that for a moment. If we ever get rejected in the name of Jesus, we will be blessed and the glory of God will rest upon us. If you could have the glory of God shine in your life and be reflected onto others, would you want that? We all would want that as much as possible! One way that will happen is if we are rejected in the name of Jesus.
God isn’t done with you yet. Luke 6:22-23 says, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in Heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.”
Do you realize that when you get rejected in the name of Jesus, God has rewards waiting for you in Heaven that will make any earthly reward seem like chump change? That is truly amazing.